Every latest songs seem so nice to hear, yet parts of every lyrics sounds so much like her, and some sounded like what i felt like telling her, some gave me strength to go on, and some just brings me down, some makes me tears, and some even makes me reminisce,
hearing classical songs, gives me time to calm, but repeating itself seems so dumb, how long can i keep myself calm? when everyday i wish to hold her palm..
It's been umpteen days, since I lost someone very special to me... Someone, whom I can't seem to let go.. though we're still going out, but as normal friends.. it makes me happy enough to know she's just right there by my side all the time... only thing is that there's a boundary between us.. it's just an extra word to add into "friend"...and everything will be totally different.
Those memories we had together... starts to swirl around my head, and things we've been through together isn't easy to erase. Though it's a short period, but the times we spent together, seems like it lasted than we are together.. Cherishing every moments together, forgive and to forget, to love and to comfort.. sadness, that needs to be cheered.. loneliness that needs to be cuddled..
Somehow.. i wish for her happiness, but on the other hand, i wish i could be selfish.. but I can't, seeing her now, with a cheerful face all the time, how could I take away all that?... It hurts a lot to let go something which really meant the world to you.. I still love her, whole heartedly..
Through out these months we've been together, Tons of arguments, yet loads of memories, Gallons of tears, and countless times of joy, Through sickness, and healthy times, Cherishing every moment together, and it all ended with a full stop. Everyone says just forget it and move on, I've been tryin to input that phrase into me, countless times I tried, yet it isn't easy, Yet i still cherish everything bout her, I grew to love her imperfections and all.. and I've never once ever thought of leaving her.
The hardest part in life, is to let go someone you really love so badly... and to give them the happiness they wanted. i don't know how to describe this feeling, how much I really cherish this relationship, seems to me the harder I try, the more it seems to go away.. Smiling, is only a face, to let people know that you're happy, but it's not easy to smile, when tears always fills your eyes when you smile..
It's hard to forget bout someone you loved so much.
After so long, i realized that I've been diagnose with such a disorder.. General Anxiety Disorder (G.A.D.) Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is an anxiety disorder that is characterized by excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry. This excessive worry often interferes with daily functioning, as individuals suffering GAD typically catastrophise, anticipate disaster, and are overly concerned about everyday matters such as health issues, money, death, family problems, friend problems or work difficulties.[1] They often exhibit a variety of physical symptoms, including fatigue, fidgeting, headaches, nausea, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, bouts of difficulty breathing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, insomnia, hot flashes, and rashes. These symptoms must be consistent and on-going, persisting at least 6 months, for a formal diagnosis of GAD to be introduced. [1] Approximately 6.8 million American adults experience GAD.
So... yeah, i have partially those symptoms, now that explains the rashes on my body, the trembling and the excessive sweats.... Can i be cure?...
It's been almost 2 months since our finals... still remember the days we rushed like crazy just to do our finals... printing, staying ups, rendering, falling asleep on sofas, coffees... Well, college life is over for me now, come to think of it, time flies very fast.. is the Earth rotating even faster?.. i wonder.."/ Kinda miss those days when we're back in college.. In this past 2 months, i only met few of my college friends.. and my old collegues too.. although we only get to meet for a short while, but it's worth it.. hopefully one day we'all put asides our work, stress, and any other thing just to meet up... Well, what's wrong with just meeting up and have fun? A food gathering?...outings? a day trip?... Hope to get a plan soon...
anyways, me and my dear has reached 8months..^^ Days been getting better, and things are getting brighter... hope things won't be as it use to be.. and just be happy always..^^.. (4 more months till 1 year.. dear,! we can make it..)...hahahaha
Currently, been workin for my dad... i wanted to work outside, but then my dad have other plans.. cause he wants me to take over the business.. Inputing company's data into me.... Things aren't as difficult as it seems at 1st, but seems like it's not as easy as it is... Now i know what it feels like workin as my dad.. But i kinda get on to it.....hehe.. OH! in 2 days time, my 1st so-call job-cum-project.... Goin to Langkawi to do a set, for a liquor ad... can't reveal what ad issit..=P wait till i come back i'll let y'all know...
So, that's bout it.. my latest updates on the past 2 months, pictures will be uploaded soon... Due to some lil boy my mom finds just to fix her laptop, instead on fuckin up my P1, my internet is currently suckie...=.=" damn you boi~ P/S: anyone who's a computer expert mind pm-ing me?... or anyone knows one.. a good one.. cause i tired with this stupid connections....argh~~
I wanna call the stars Down from the sky I wanna live a day That never dies I wanna change the world Only for you All the impossible I wanna do
I wanna hold you close Under the rain I wanna kiss your smile And feel the pain I know what's beautiful Looking at you In a world of lies You are the truth
And baby Everytime you touch me I become a hero I'll make you safe No matter where you are And bring you Everything you ask for Nothing is above me I'm shining like a candle in the dark When you tell me that you love me
I wanna make you see Just what I was Show you the loneliness And what it does
Diana: You walked into my life To stop my tears Everything's easy now I have you here
And baby Everytime you touch me I become a hero I'll make you safe No matter where you are And bring you Everything you ask for Nothing is above me I'm shining like a candle in the dark When you tell me that you love me
In a world without you (Mark: world without you) I would always hunger (Mark: I will always hunger) All I need is your love
...to make me stronger
and baby Everytime you touch me I become a hero I'll make you safe No matter where you are And bring you Everything you ask for Nothing is above me I'm shining like a candle in the dark When you tell me that you love me
Well, well.... it's been long since i last blogged... =P and the last blog i left empty, cause i couldn't post any pictures up during my HK trip... and i got kinda pissed at it.. and just bored of blogging..XD
Anyways, recently developed insomnia, sleeping disorder...~__~.. tried rolling in bed, reading novel, youtube-ing, facebook-ing, exercising, hearing musics, counting countless sheeps, playing games, drink milk,.. what else?... and it gets worst day by day.... so any suggestions?..do drop me comments yea?
well, back to the topic... rather than me just telling you what i've done throughout 2008.. here's some pictures..=P
My 1st working experience... Internship, at Designedge..
Gotten into a great relationship... and getting better...
2 new "daughters" Chanel & Walnut.. Been To HK.....
Well, there's much more to it... Can't post that much right now.. due to stupid streamyx... Superb slow connection and freaking disconnected every now and then...
Anyways, here comes 2009!!
My brother's 21st birthday.. Sureen Raj..Awesome party...
Walnut grown up... a little...
Shirley got stress of assignments.. same goes as all of us....
With new born baby bear, Macaroni~~14/02/09 My girl's new hairdo, Sweet, pretty, and Ichiban~~ Japan!!=P Got to celebrate my 1st valentines....
Flasher runs around flashing in 1Utama...
Well, like i said, there's more to it.. Between me and those photos, some internet connection thingy is the distraction...
There's all for now, I'm goin to bed nowz... Will be updating more soon....hopefully i can...Kinda rushing for assignments these days, plus extra works from my dad... nitez...
